1. To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
2. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
3. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
4. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
5. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
6. Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
7. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
8. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it.
9. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
10. Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.
11. Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
12. Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
13. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
14. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
15. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.
16. Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
17. The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
18. There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.
19. The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organization. (For instance, The Murphy Center for Codification of Human and Organizational Law, contrasted to IBM, GM, AT&T...).
20. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
