Hard to believe, but another year has passed. For those who don't know, the 
Darwin Awards are given every year to the person(s) who died (or almost 
died) in the stupidest way, thus enhancing the gene pool by their absence.


The 2000 nominees are (and do read through to the end of the list):

NOMINEE No. 1:

"San Jose Mercury News":

An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former 
girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun 
discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

NOMINEE No. 2:

"Kalamazoo Gazette"

James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, Mich., was killed in March as he was 
trying to repair what police describe as a "farm type truck."

Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung 
underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. 
Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns 
"wrapped in the drive shaft."

NOMINEE No. 3:

"Hickory Daily Record"

Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in 
Newton, N.C. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, 
he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith Wesson .38 Special, 
which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

NOMINEE No. 4:

"UPI, Toronto"

Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown 
Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 
floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the 
courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was 
explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. 
Hoy previously has conducted demonstration of window strength according to 
police reports. Peter Lawyers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day 
Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and 
brightest" embers of the 200-man association.

NOMINEE No. 5:

"Bloomburg News Service"

A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death 
of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body but an 
autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system.

His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other 
things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man 
died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over 
his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't 
have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom.  
According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for 
creating "this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was 
hospitalized.

NOMINEE No. 6:

"The News of the Weird."

Michael Anderson Godwin made news of the Weird posthumously. He had spent 
several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder 
conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison.
While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix his small 
TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

NOMINEE NO. 7:

"The Indianapolis Star".

A cigarette lighter may have triggered fatal explosion in Dunkirk, Indiana. 
A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a 
muzzleloader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, 
sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' 
rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 pm. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 
54-caliber muzzleloader that had not been firing properly.  He was using the 
lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

NOMINEE No. 8:

"Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario"

A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in 
this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 
55, was standing on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said 
Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel regional police. "It appears the chair 
moved and he went over the balcony," Honer said.

NOMINEE No.9:

"Arkansas Democrat Gazette"

Two local men were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left the road 
and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early

Monday morning. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident 
shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray 
Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist 
Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des 
Arc after a frog-gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up 
truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight 
fuse on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not 
available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit 
perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column.  Upon 
inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the 
two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.  After 
traveling approximately 20 miles and just before crossing the river, the 
bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right 
testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right exiting the pavement and 
striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the 
accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound.  Wallis 
sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.  "Thank God we 
weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off or we might both be 
dead" stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the 
world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would 
admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the 
wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife, asked how many frogs the boys had caught and 
did anyone get them from the truck. (Way to go, Lavinia!)












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