WHY BICYCLES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

• Bicycles don't get pregnant.
• You can ride your Bicycle any time of the month.
• Bicycles don't have parents.
• Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
• You can share your Bicycle with your friends.
• Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you've ridden.
• When riding, you and your Bicycle can arrive at the same time.
• Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you have.
• Bicycles don't care if you look at other Bicycles.
• Bicycles don't care if you buy Bicycle magazines.
• You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to own a new Bicycle"

  unless you go out to buy one yourself.

• If your Bicycle goes flat you can fix it.
• If your Bicycle is too loose you can tighten it.
• If your Bicycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics

  with it.

• You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Bicycle.
• If you say bad things to your Bicycle, you don't have to apologize before

  you ride it again.

• You can ride your Bicycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
• You can stop riding your Bicycle as soon as you want and it won't

  get frustrated.

• Your parents won't remain in touch with your old bicycle after you dump

  it.

• Bicycles don't get headaches.
• Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.
• Your Bicycle never wants a night out with the other Bicycles.
• Bicycles don't care if you're late.
• You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.
• If your Bicycle doesn't look good you can paint it or get better parts.
• You can ride your Bicycle the first time you meet it, without having to

  take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.

• The only protection you have to wear when riding your Bicycle is a

  decent helmet.

• When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had

  the last time you were on your Bicycle.