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Barbie has to enter middle-age sometime!
1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames
in six wild colors (half-frames, too). Neck chain and large-print editions
of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's belly button and watch her face turn
beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead! With
handheld fan and tiny tissues.
3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers
grow! Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
4. Cook's Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new,
roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too. MuuMuus with tummy
support panels are included.
5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely
taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the
pumice stone, then slip on soft terry mules.
6. No More Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's feet and lip lines
with a tube of Skin Sparkle Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive
age-blasting cosmetics.
7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying
off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and
Ken, Jr. With mini-van in robin's egg blue or white, and cooler filled with
doughnut holes and fruit punch.
8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change,
and Bruce (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered,along with
Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley
to open a B&B.
Comes with real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do".
9. Single Mother Barbie. There's not much time for primping anymore! Ken's
shacked up with the Swedish au pair in the DreamHouse and Barbie's across
town with Babs and Ken, Jr. in a fourth floor walkup. Barbie's selling off
her old gowns and accessories to raise rent money. Complete garage sale kit
included.
10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the
ultimate party girl. Now she does 12 steps instead of dance steps! Clean and
sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with little copy of the
Big Book and six-pack of diet Coke.
11. Post Menopausal Barbie. Poor Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes,
forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken
sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels.
Comes with Depends and
Kleenex. As a bonus this year, she comes with the book, "Getting in Touch
with Your Inner Self".
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