WHY VIBRATORS ARE BETTER THAN REAL SEX

- Vibrators don't have problems with gas ... Nor do they hog the remote ... Nor the computer!

- We can get a bigger one or one that has better options whenever we want without being called a slut.

- Vibrators never go limp and rubbery, you simply replace the batteries when it tires.

- Position is your choice, not his.

- You don't have to suck it.

- It works "while" the sports games are on.

- It always is hard.

- It doesn't leave a mess behind.

- You don't have to wear an ill fitting teddy to excite it.

- It doesn't care that you gained 10 lbs.

- It doesn't fall asleep and snore in your ear afterwards.

- You don't have to clean up the apartment before bringing it home.

- You don't have to cook it breakfast and pretend to be interested in it the next morning.

- You can throw them in a drawer and only take them out when you want to!

- They don't get tired after the first time.

- They never poke you in the back in the morning to see if you are in the mood.

- They never drink too much and embarrass you.

- You don't have to tell the vibrator he's the best you ever had!

- Vibrators don't prematurely ejaculate.

- Safe sex without a rubber.

- Vibrators don't ask who your Daddy is.

- Vibrators last as long as YOU want them to last.

- You don't have to put up with the shit, just turn it off when you get done with it !

- As long as you have a new pack of energizers the vibrator can keep going and going and going!

- Vibrators do what you want them to do at ALL times!

- Vibrators are portable so you can do it anytime anywhere you want!!

- They never ask how they were.

- They don't burp, fart, belch or fall asleep on you.

- You don't have to dress up for your vibrator.

- You don't have to stroke its ego.

- They never wake up at 4 a.m. asking for another get-go.

- It doesn't leave a wet spot.

- You can carry it with you at all times, and not feel obligated to feed it.

- It doesn't require "a little lip action" to get hard

- It has no problem finding the "g spot."

- You know exactly where its been.

- Vibrators don't care if you get crumbs in the bed.