THE NEW PASTOR'S PARISHIONER

The new, young minister was being warned about one particular parishioner. The deacons told him that one young lady, a Ms. Green, came to services every Sunday, but she always wore revealing, form-fitting clothes. They'd never spoken to her about it because she tithed generously and regularly, but they wanted the new pastor to be aware that she'd look pretty shocking when she entered the church.

On Sunday morning, the new preacher was watching the worshippers enter, trying to spot the lady and not be alarmed by her appearance. Suddenly, a woman in a tight mini-skirt, fishnet hose, a low-cut satin blouse, and stiletto heels came walking in. He gaped at her for a moment as she sat in the front pew and crossed her legs.

He nudged one of the deacons and asked, "Is that the one? Is that Tootie Green?"

The deacon looked and said, "I don't think so. I believe it's just the way the light's shinin' on it."