TOP 15 EUPHEMISMS FOR IMPOTENCE

15. 180 degrees shy of heaven

14. Performing with Flacido Domingo

13. A few parts shy of an erector set

12. Sch-wing and a miss

11. Not rising to the level of impeachable offense

10. The Null Monte

9. Disappointing Miss Daisy

8. Taking the gold at the Lake Flaccid Olympics

7. Ascension Deficit Disorder

6. Bouncing the Check of Love

5. Less-than-Magic Johnson

4. All Doled up with nowhere to go

3. Welcome to Flaccid City. Population: You

2. Serving boneless pork

1. Unleavened Man-Bread