SIGNS HE ONLY WANTS TO GET LAID

- Watching a nature show where animals fornicate, he keeps winking and doing the eyebrow thing.

- When you ask him what kind of car he likes to drive, he solemnly replies, "The skin bus to tuna town," and then laughs until he cries.

- You note that integrity is so important in a man, he notes that what he looks for in a "chick " is "you know."

- He whispers, "You're beautiful," to your thighs, then glances up at your face and says, "Oh you, too."

- When you comment on the rarity of men these days who seek mature relationships, he giggles quite a bit.

- In conversation with others, he refers to you as his "quality tail."

- Washing dishes after you've cooked him dinner for the first time, you reach behind you to take the paper towels off the paper-towel rod and then realize that you don't own a paper-towel rod.

- When you're insulted by his "motel" suggestion at the end of your first date, he looks impressed and says, "Hotel?"

- When you proudly recount your glorious high school valedictory speech to him, he praises "your multi-talented mouth."

- When you tell him what you do for a living, he stares at your breasts and loudly asks, "What do they do?"