YOU MIGHT BE A PREACHER IF...

* Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.

* You've ever "fudged" the truth at a funeral.

* You always read the obituaries.

* You've ever suffered anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia Pursuit.

* You wonder why people who have some time to kill want to spend it with you.

* You get your second wind when you say "And in conclusion·"

* The ideas you bounce off board members really do.

* Your car tires are balding faster than your head.

* You wish someone would steal some of your sheep.

* You've seen more religion at a pool hall than you've seen at a Church cricket match.

* Your Bible has more side notes than printed text.

* "Annual Church Meeting" and "Armageddon" are one and the same to you.

* You jiggle all the toilet handles before you leave the church building.