SIGNS YOUR PASTOR NEEDS A VACATION

- His first words to the congregation on Sunday morning are "alright, listen up you heathens..."

- He falls asleep during his own sermon.

- He shows up for Sunday service wearing Bermuda Shorts and a Tank Top

- Every time his pager goes off, he shouts, "Why can't they just leave me alone?!"

- Announces baptismal services will be at the Grand Canyon

- You go to his office for counseling and pour your heart out to him and he says, "Sounds like a personal problem to me."

- For the past two months he has preached the same sermon every Sunday.