GUIDE TO SOUTHERN TALK

The Southern vocabulary is similar to the rest of the Nation's - it only sounds different. The following is a sample to help all Yankees, in hope that it will teach them how to talk right.

Ah - The things you see with.

Aig - Which came first, the chicken or the aig?

Arn - An electrical instrument used to remove wrinkles from clothing.

Ay-rab - The people who inhabit much of North Africa.

Bawl - What water does.

Bidness - The art of selling something for more than you paid for it.

Bobbycue - A delectable Southern sandwich of chopped pork, cole slaw, and a fiery sauce.

Bud - Small feathered creature that flies.

Cheer - A piece of furniture used for sitting.

Chekatawfarya - Heard at service stations in small

Southern towns.

Co-Cola - Soft drink.

Crine - Weeping.

Dawfins - Name of the professional football team in

Miami.

Daints - A more or less formal event in which members of the opposite sex hold each other and move rhythmically to the south of music.

Doc - A condition caused by the absence of light.

Etlanna - The city General Sherman burned during the war for Southern independence.

Everthang - All-encompassing.

Far - A state of combustion that produces heat and light.

Foller - Spies and private detectives spend a lot of time doing this.

Git - To acquire.

Goff- A game played with clubs and a little white ball.

Gull - A young female.

Hale - Where General Sherman went for what he did to Etlanna.

Hep - To aid or benefit.

Idinit - "Mighty hot today, idinit?"

Keer - To be concerned.

Lieberry - A building containing thousands of literary works.

Moanin - Between daybreak and noon.

Motuhsickle - A two-wheeled missile with a powerful engine.

Munts - The 12 units into which the calendar year is divided.

Nawth - Any part of the country outside of the South.

Nekkid - To be unclothed.

Ovair - In that direction.

Own - Instead of awf.

Phrasin - Very cold.

Pitcher - An image, either drawn or photographed.

Sebmup - Soft drink similar to ginger ale.

Show - "It show is hot today."

Spearmint - Something scientist do.

Stow - Place where things are sold.

Tal - What you dry off with after you take a share.

Tar - Round inflatable object that sometimes goes flat.

Uhmukin - Someone who lives in the United States of Uhmurka.

Zackly - Precisely.