REDNECK FAMILY PLANNING

After having their 11th child, an Arkansas couple decided that they had enough kids.  So, the husband and wife went to the doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told them that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem, but it was more expensive than they could afford.  The doctor knew the family didn't have much money, so he proceeded to tell them about an alternate treatment.

The doctor instructed the man to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Arkansas), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. (A cherry bomb has an 8 second fuse).

The Arkansas man said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."  The doctor told him that was the cheapest alternative he could think of, and the man was still not satisfied.

So, the couple drove to Texas to get a second opinion.  The Texas physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed on the form that they were from Arkansas.. (And the income range block on the form was filled in with the words "what's income.")  So this doctor also proceeded to tell them about an alternate method of treatment.  He told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the couple went home, stopping to buy a cherry bomb along the way.  When he got home, the man lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.   He held the can up to his ear (remember a cherry bomb has an 8 second fuse) and began to count.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused and placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand. Thus his problem was solved!