COMPUTER TERMS FOR REDNECKS

BACKUP: What you do when you run over a skunk in the woods.

BAR CODE: Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern.

BUG: The reason you give for calling in sick.

BYTE: What your pitbull dun to cusin Jethro.

CACHE: Needed when you run out of food stamps.

CHIP: Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.

COMPUTER TERMINAL: Time to call the undertaker.

CRASH: When you go to Junior's party uninvited.

DIGITAL: The art of counting on your fingers.

DISKETTE: A female Disco dancer.

FAX: What you lie about to the IRS.

HACKER: Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.

INTERNET: Where cafeteria workers keep their hair.

KEYBOARD: Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.

MAC: Big Bubba's favorite fast food.

MEGAHERTZ: How your head feels after 17 beers.

MODEM: What ya do when the grass gets too high.

MOUSE PAD: Where Mickey and Minnie live.

NETWORK: Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line.

ONLINE: Where you stay when taking the sobriety test.

ROM: Where the pope lives.

SCREEN: Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.

SERIAL PORT: A red wine you drink with breakfast.

SUPERCONDUCTOR: Amtrak's Employee of the year.

SCSI: What you call your week-old underwear.