YOU MIGHT BE A TEXAS PEACE OFFICER IF...

- If your hat, belt and boots cost more than your sidearm.

- If you know what a 'court gun' is.

- If you have a 'court gun'.

- If directions to a location involve livestock, property descriptions, or the words "When you get off the pavement."

- If the winner of the last three bar room brawls was last years Homecoming Queen.

- Dressing up for court involves pressed Wranglers and a Brushpopper shirt.

- If anyone on the Department is named 'Bubba'.

- If you don't know Bubba's real name.

- If Bubba is his real name.

- If you've ever gotten a confession from a critter by threatening him with either his Mama or God.

- If your interview for the job involved the question: "Can you take a whuppin'?"

- If you have more weapons and ammunition in your cruiser than most small nations have in their armies.

- If you've ever had an 'Officer Involved Shooting' where the victim was a feral hog or other four-pawed critter with an appetite.

- If the caliber of your sidearm is regarded as an artillery round in Europe.

- You've ever had to mediate a dispute concerning the paternity of a litter of puppies.

- If you have the impression that the Feds regard your department as being marginally more civilized than the Viking Hordes.

- If you think all back-up is 30 miles away and asleep in bed.

- If you've ever gone to an emergency wearing only your hat, pajamas, gun and boots.

- If spurs are a department-issued item.