TYPES OF MEN YOU MIGHT SEE IN THE MENS RESTROOM

* EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.

* SOCIABLE: Joins friends in a piss whether he has to or not.

* CROSS-EYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.

* TIMID: Can't piss if someone's watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.

* INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink.

* CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor.

* WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.

* FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.

* ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.

* CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.

* SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed.

* PATIENT: Stands very close for a long while waiting, reads with free hand.

* DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.

* TOUGH: Bangs pecker on side of urinal to dry it.

* EFFICIENT: Waits until he has to crap, then does both.

* FAT: Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in shoe.

* LITTLE: Stands on box, falls in, drowns.

* DRUNK: Holds right thumb in left hand, pisses in pants.

* DISGRUNTLED: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.

* CONCEITED: Holds two-inch pecker like a baseball bat.

* RADICAL: Ignores urinal. Pisses on wall.