POTTY LIMERICKS

When feeling the rumblings acutely,
(And his shorts getting stained, though minutely)
He thought of his lunch;
It was more than a hunch:
No more beans, he decided astutely!

A flighty young gal named Melissa
Was careless as hell on the pissa.
One day in the rush,
She was caught in the flush,
And goodness knows all of us missa!

There was a young man from Rangoon,
Whose farts could be heard on the moon,
When you least would expect them,
They'd roar from his rectum,
With a sound like a double bassoon!

There once was a man from McBride,
Who could fart whenever he tried,
At a contest he blew
two thousand and two,
Then shit and was disqualified.

What's the deal with this toilet-seat crap?
If we don't put it up, there's a flap.
Leave it up, and we get,
A new lecture yet.
Either way, we'll be in for a rap.

There once was a young man named Brewster
who said to his wife as he goosed her,
"This used to be grand,
but look at my hand,
you're not wiping as clean as you used ta!'"