THE FART CHART

* AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart

* AMIABLE : Likes to smell others' farts

* ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private

* AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes

* ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times

* BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others

* BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others

* CARELESS : Farts in church

* CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles

* CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time

* CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest

* CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way to go

* CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating

* DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head

* DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog

* DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell

* DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own

* ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution

* FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours

* FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts

* GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart *HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason

* IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs

* LAZY : Just fizzles

* MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles

* MISERABLE : Can't fart at all

* MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell

* NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart

* PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant

* SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers

* SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts

* SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying

* SHY : Blushes when he farts silently

* SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear

* SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present

* SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog

* STINGY : Belches to save his ass-hole

* STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter

* THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve

* TIMID : Jumps when he farts

* UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself

* VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart

* WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion

* WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shit