SIGNS A CANDIDATE DESPERATELY WANTS YOUR VOTE
Copyright 2000 by Chris White     www.topfive.com

12. Not only appears naked in your shower with the words "Vote For Me!"painted on his chest every morning, he keeps hogging the water.

11. A winking well-dressed Congressman drops off a note saying that your driving record has been "taken care of."

10. "My, that's an attractive outfit you're wearing today, Mrs. Undecided Voter!"

9. "I've got twin daughters, if you know what I mean."

8. Campaign signs you see on your way to work: "Vote for me, Tod Linger!" Your name? Tod Linger.

7. He French kisses the baby.

6. "Okay, the laundry is done, your car has been detailed and the toilet is finally unclogged. Are you ready for your Swedish massage now?"

5. Every stoplight, there he is with a squeegee.

4. "Dude! I scored some killer weed... meet me Tuesday in the middle school gymnasium... Tuesday. Middle School. In the gymnasium. Seriously. Dude? Dude?"

3. Not only guarantees a tax cut for every household, also guarantees that "Star Wars Episode II" will not suck as badly as "Star Wars Episode I."

2. This election year, that "giant sucking sound" is coming from under your desk.

1. He delays your execution until November 8th.