A VISIT WITH THE QUEEN

President Clinton was to represent the United States of America on a highly formal, orchestrated "state visit" to Great Britain.

Air Force One stopped at a bright red carpet along which the President strode to join Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate 17th-century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses.

The coach proceeded through the streets en route to Buckingham Palace with the President and the Queen alternating between exchanging pleasantries and waving each out their respective windows to the cheering throngs.

At one point, the right rear horse produced a thunderous, cataclysmic fart that reverberated through the air and rattled the doors of the coach.

Presidents and Queens are, first and foremost, human beings. Their first reaction was to focus their attentions outside their respective windows, and behave as if nothing extraordinary had happened.

The President was the first to realize that ignoring what had happened was ridiculous.

"Queen Elizabeth, please accept my regrets .... I'm sure you understand that there are some things that even the President of the United States cannot control."

"Mr. Clinton, please don't give the matter another thought.  Why, if you hadn't said something, I would have thought it was one of the horses."