PRESIDENTIAL ANSWERING SERVICE

Thank you for calling the White House. You have reached the White House voice mail system. No one is available to take your call at this time because the entire administration is out to lunch.

Please follow these instructions carefully to leave your message. When you are finished, don't hang up until the FBI finishes tracing the call. Have a nice day.

If you are male and would like to leave a message for the president, press 9.

If your are female and would like to leave a message for the president, press M-O-T-E-L-6.

If you are male and would like to leave a message for Chelsea, press N-O-W-A-Y.

To leave a message for Buddy, press D-O-G.

To leave a message for Socks, press D-O-G-F-O-O-D.

To leave a message for Roger Clinton, press A-A.

To leave a message for Ted Kennedy, Press 7-A-N-D-7.

If you are calling to arrange a night in the Lincoln bedroom, press D-O-L-L-A-R.

If you are calling to arrange a White House coffee, pres Y-E-N.

If you are calling to support Hillary's birth control program, press F-R-I-G-I-D.

If you are calling leave a message for Janet Reno, press W-A-C-O.

To leave a message for a member of Congress, press B-I-G-D-O-N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

To leave a message for the Gore2000 campaign, press H-O-P-E-L-E-S-S.

If you wish to make a complaint, press B-I-T-E-M-E.

To speak to an operator, press 0.

To speak to a slick operator, stay on the line and the president will answer your call shortly.