TV PSALM

The TV is my shepherd, I shall not want,
it makes me lie down on the sofa.
It leads me away from the scriptures,
it destroys my soul!
It leads me in the paths of sex and violence
for the sponsors' sake.
Yea, though I walk in the shadow of my Christian responsibilities,
There will be no interruptions
for the TV is with me.
Its cable and remote control,
they comfort me.
It prepares a commercial before me
in the presence of my carnality;
It anoint my head with humanism,
my coveting runneth over.
Surely laziness and ignorance shall follow me
all the days of my life, and I shall dwell
in the house watching TV to the end.