FUN THINGS TO DO AT A SWIMMING POOL

* Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met.

* Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today.

* Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.

* Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.

* Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim.

* Hit strangers with your flutter board.

* Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you.

* Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, "Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good...."

* Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move.

* Swim near a stranger and say, "Dammit I knew I shouldn't have had watermelon before I came here."

* Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool.

* Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say, "HA-HA, fooled you!"

* Scream as someone is trying to do something when jumping off of a diving board.

* Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.

* Tell people you saw the lifeguard pissing in the pool.

* Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.

* Try to negotiate the price of getting in.

* Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off.

* When in line, ask strangers if they think invisible people get a discount.

* Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say, "Wheee! I'm Batman!" while running around.

* Hit strangers with your wet towel.

* Throw people's things into the pool.

* Sing and dance on top of the diving board, then do a belly-flop as your grande-finale.

* Play Marco-Polo by yourself.

* Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.