THE LAW

* The Law of Common Sense
Never accept a drink from a urologist.

* The Law of Reality
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

* The Law of Self Sacrifice
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

* The Law of Volunteering
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

* The Law of Avoiding Oversell
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

* The Law of Motivation
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

* Boob's Law
You always find something in the last place you look.

* Weiler's Law
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

* Law of Probable Dispersal
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

* Law of Volunteer Labor
People are always available for work in the past tense.

* Conway's Law
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

* Iron Law of Distribution
Them that has, gets.

* Law of Cybernetic Entomology
There is always one more bug.

* Law of Drunkenness
You can't fall off the floor.

* Heller's Law
The first myth of management is that it exists.

* Osborne's Law
Variables won't; constants aren't.

* Weinberg's Second Law
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.