TRANSLATED CAR ADS

- Two tone paint work - Original color and rust.

- One careful owner - But the other nine were clumsy as anything.

- 10,000 trouble-free miles - Crashed in the last 20 feet.

- Heated rear window - So you don't get cold hands when push-starting the thing in winter.

- Very clean - Only washed if and when it rains.

- Lady owner - The glove box is full of half-used cosmetics.

- Clean interior - All the rubbish is under the floormats.

- Immobilizer - The gear shift comes off in your hand.

- Anti-theft device - I can let you have a Rottweiler cheap.

- Drives beautifully - ... in a straight line; the steering is all over the place.

- Low mileage - The odometer is on its third time around.

- Full service history - Charlie in the garage round the corner checked it over last week.

- Economical - Doesn't use much fuel, as it can't go any faster than 30 mph.