THE UGLY WIVES

"You know why I drink so much?" asks John. "Because my wife is so ugly."

"Oh, yeah?" counters Richard. "You think your wife's ugly? You should see my wife. She's a pig."

They continue to drink and argue about whose wife is uglier. They soon realize that the only way they're going to settle the debate is to meet the other's wife. And so, the two men start off for John's house. When they arrive, John knocks on the door and his wife answers. Richard whispers, "Sheesh, John, you got a point there. She's a show stopper. That face could send a freight train down a dirt road. But, listen, you still gotta see my wife."

When they arrive at Richard's house, they walk into the living room. Richard pushes the couch, chairs and table aside and then rolls up the rug. In the middle of the floor, there is a large trap door. He lifts open the trap door and yells down, "Hey, Bertha, come on up here!"

"Okay, honey. But, should I put the bag over my head?"

"No, I don't want to screw you dear. I just want to show you off."