TALK DIRTY TO ME

This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out into town and party, so he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochi coo?" asks his wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife puts her hands on her hips and says to him, "You want a beer my love?"

Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc....

The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of saying is, "Yes, loolie loolie. But the bar .... you know ... the frozen glass..."

He didn't get to finish saying the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"

She takes out of the freezer a huge beer mug so frozen that the wife was getting the chills from holding it.

The husband looking a bit pale says, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hoer's de devours that are really delicious. I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hoer's de devours, poochi poo?" she coos.

She opens the oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hoer's de devours - chicken wings, pigs in the blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc...

"But sweet honey, at the bar, you know ... the swearing, the dirty words and all that," he meekly replies.

She replies, "You want dirty words cutie pie? Here drink your fucking beer in your fucking frozen glass and eat your fucking shit hoer's de vours, because you aren't going anywhere, you fucking asshole!!"