HOW TO TELL YOU'RE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

* Your co-worker tells you he/she has 8 body piercings...and none are visible.

* You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.

* Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.

* You can't remember ... is pot illegal?

* You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

* A really great parking space can move you to tears.

* A low-speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

* You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits, a fab exercise facility, and tofu takeout.

* You're thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between aromatherapy and conversational Mandarin.

* Your best friends just named their twins after her acting coach and his personal trainer.

* It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH '99."

* The three-hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe laying on the shoulder.