YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN WHEN...

* The "road hog" in front of you on Main Street is a farmer's combine.

* The local phone book has only one yellow page.

* Third Street is on the edge of town.

* You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it's still there, on the same chair.

* You don't signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway.

* No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.

* You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.

* Everyone knows all the news before it's published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.

* The city limits signs are both on the same post!

* The City jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell.

* The McDonalds only has one Golden Arch.

* The 7-11 is a 3 1/2 - 5 1/2.

* The one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both directions.

* The phone book has only one page.

* There's nothing doing every minute.

* The ZIP code is a fraction.

* Second Street is in the next town over.

* There's no place to go that you shouldn't.

* A "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes.

* The mayor had to annex property to eat a foot-long hot dog.

* The New Year's baby was born in October.