REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH

* When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.

* Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.

* You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.

* If there's a war you can surrender really early.

* You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.

* You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.

* You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.

* Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.

* You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.

* People think you're a great lover even when you're not.