REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH

* Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah.

* Proper beer.

* You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.

* You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events

* Union jack underpants.

* Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.

* You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.

* Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not.

* Ditto changing underwear.

* Beats being Welsh or Scottish.