REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN

- In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.

- Not embarrassed to wear fur.

- No need to worry about tax returns.

- Glorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.

- Can wear sunglasses inside.

- Political stability.

- Flexible working hours.

- Live near the Pope.

- Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.

- Country run by Sicilian murderers.