WONDER WHERE I AM
(to the tune of Winter Wonderland)

At the office Christmas party,
I started out with a Bacardi.
I didn't get sauced,
But, right now, I'm lost!
It's Christmas and I wonder where I am!

I had a beer at my brother's,
Had egg nog at my mother's,
Then two bottles of wine.
Which automobile's mine?
It's Christmas and I wonder where I am!

Someone caught me dancing with a snowman.
Policemen came and put me in their car.
They asked, 'Are you drunk?' And I said, 'No, man,
But could you drop me off at the next bar?'

I guess my wife must be missing;
Who's this dog that I'm kissing?
They say his name's 'Spot',
And he likes me...a lot!!
It's Christmas and I wonder where I am!

I was looking for a lady I could dance with,
And so I stood beneath the mistletoes.
Someone said, 'You'd have a better chance if
You take the lamp shade off and put back on your clothes'!

Well it's time to be going.
I'm naked! Is it still snowing?
It's time I should leave,
But I'll be back New Year's Eve!!!
It's Christmas and I wonder where I am!
It's Christmas and I wonder where I am!

Have you seen my hat; I wouldn't want to freeze!
What a party!! Don't you wish you were me?!?!?