MAIL-ORDER XMAS

'Twas the week before Xmas, the sunlight was pale.
The presents I ordered are not in the mail.
The payments were made a full month in advance,
or early enough to leave little to chance.

When what to my wandering mind should transpire,
but the prospect of tag via telephone wire
with an answering service who doesn't know squat,
and an outstanding check, and a balance of WHAT?

It's too late to hassle, and nothing else works.
I can't send a present, for dealing with jerks.
But if the mail-order will get the stuff here,
I'll try to have something in time for next year.