THINGS YOUR MOM WOULD NEVER SAY

* How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?

* Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.

* Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery.

* Let me smell that shirt. Yeah, it's good for another week.

* Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day.

* Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me.

* The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here.

* I don't have a tissue with me. Just use your sleeve.

* Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve.