TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR AMISH TEEN IS IN TROUBLE

10. Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 am.

9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.

8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.

7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"

6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."

5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."

4. You come upon his secret stash of colored socks.

3. Uses slang expression: "Talk to the hand, 'cause the beard ain't listening."

2. Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of cottage cheese."

1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.