THE AGONY OF A DRUNKEN CRAP

This guy is sitting in a bar - drunk, and he asks the bartender, "Where's the bathroom?"

The bartender says, "Go down the hall and make a right."

A few minutes later everybody at the bar hears this loud scream from out of the bathroom and wonders what the hell is going on in there. A few minutes go by and, again, everybody at the bar hears another loud scream coming from the bathroom.

This time the bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.  He knocks on the door and asks the drunk,  "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!"

The drunk says,  "I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush it, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls."

With that, the bartender opens up the door and looks in and says, "Well, no wonder, you're sitting on the mop bucket!!!"