REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...

* It's an incentive to show up.

* It reduces stress.

* Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."

* It leads to more honest communications.

* It reduces complaints about low pay.

* It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

* Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

* It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

* It encourages carpooling.

* Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.

* It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

* It makes fellow employees look better.

* It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

* Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

* Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

* Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.

* Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.

* It makes everyone more open with their ideas.

* Everyone agrees the work is better after they've had a couple of drinks.

* Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.

* Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked. (?)

* It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.

* The janitor's closet will finally have a use.

* Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.

* Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language.