SIGNS YOU'RE IN A BAD HOSPITAL

*You go in for routine surgery, you come out with a tail.

*You recognize your doctor as kid who was mopping the lobby when you checked in.

*Instead of sponge bath, they send St. Bernard to lick you.

*As you're going under, your surgeon says, "Man, am I baked!"

*In the operating room, you see a surgeon holding a sign that says, "WILL DO SURGERY FOR FOOD!"

*Every couple of minutes, you hear a bugle playing Taps.

*All the diplomas on the wall are signed by Sally Struthers.

*You and your roommate have to take turns on the I.V.

*Through fog of anesthesia, you hear surgeon shouting, "Bring the damn Scotch tape! And plenty of it!"

*Instead of "patient," they use the term "plaintiff."