SIGNS YOUR DOCTOR IS TOO OLD

- He brags about having delivered Strom Thurmond.

- He leaves three times in the middle of surgery to pee.

- He's always yelling at kids running across his waiting room.

- Instead of hooking you up to an EKG, he accidentally wires you up to a TV set showing "Murder She Wrote."

- He tells you about the latest in anesthesia... and then hands you a bullet to bite on.

- He worked at Mt. Sinai... unfortunately it was with Moses.

- Says he's skeptical about this new penicillin drug.

- Says the tonsils will have to come out. The only problem is... he's giving you a rectal exam.

- After installing a pacemaker, he says a second heart operation will be needed to retrieve his missing teeth.

- After discovering he's out of colostomy bags, he says, "Here, use mine."

- When he pulls out thermometer and says "102"... he's talking about his age.

- You see him tapping that Knee Hammer on a 5 iron.

- Says he served as a medic during the war... the Civil War.

- He was Eve's gynecologist.

- Hanging on his wall is a copy of the Hippocratic Oath... signed by Hippocrates.