YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG ISP WHEN...

* Their company logo is two tin cans and a length of string.

* You check out their address, and it's a phone booth containing a Compaq portable and an acoustic coupler.

* Their chief technical officer lives in a 10-foot-by-7-foot shack in the woods.

* Their proud boast: "We've been on the Internet since it was CB radio."

* Their promo materials use the words "information" and "superhighway" in the same sentence.

* You order an SLIP/PPP connection, email, and 2MB of server space for your personal Web site, and the voice on the other end of the phone asks, "Would you like fries with that?"

* "As seen in Better Business Bureau special reports."

* "Access speeds up to 9,600 BPS in most areas."

* They hawk both domain names and Rolexes on the street corner.

* They charge for e-mail and downloads by the word.