WAYS TO IRRITATE BILL GATES

* Steal his "nerdboy" license plate.

* Accuse him of sexually harassing your laser jet printer.

* Beat his high score on Tetris.

* Ask him if they caught the guy who did that to his hair.

* Tell him you heard he's "micro soft."

* Leave his Spock ears on your dashboard so they melt.

* Let the air out of the tires on the Gatesmobile.

* Drop hints that Oprah's richer than he is.

* WWW him right in the dot-com.

* Two words: Dork tax.