FORM LETTER FOR FLAMES

Are you a flamer? This handy dandy form will save you some time in writing you flame to that special someone.

Begin flame:

Dear:

[ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] Lamer [ ] Retard
[ ] Me too'er [ ] Pervert [ ] Loser
[ ] Spammer [ ] Nerd [ ] Elvis
[ ] Fed [ ] Freak [ ] Flamebait
[ ] Other (please specify): _______________

You Are Being Flamed Because:

[ ] You sent me a stupid chain letter
[ ] You posted a message concerning a pyramid scheme
[ ] You posted a "test" in a news group other than alt.test
[ ] You posted something asking for warez sites
[ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread
[ ] You posted something completely off-topic
[ ] You started an off-topic thread
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[ ] You don't know which group to post in
[ ] You suck
[ ] You brag about things that never happened
[ ] Your sig/alias/server sucks
[ ] You made up slang then used it in a message
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad
[ ] I don't like your tone of voice
[ ] I think you might be a fed

To Repent, You Must:

[ ] Shout "GO RIDE" a thousand times in a packed bus terminal
[ ] "Upgrade" to Windows 98
[ ] Give up your E-mail account
[ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the FAQ
[ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month
[ ] Post your tests to alt.test
[ ] Remove yourself from the net (you are hopeless)
[ ] Remove yourself from existence (you are really hopeless)

In Closing, I'd Like to Say:

[ ] Blow me
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Never post again
[ ] I pity your dog
[ ] Go to hell
[ ] Yer momma's so fat/stupid/ugly that etc....
[ ] Take your crap somewhere else
[ ] Learn to post or get off
[ ] Do us all a favor and jump into some industrial equipment
[ ] See how far your tongue will fit into the electric outlet
[ ] All of the above

End flame.