DOG COMMANDMENTS

Thou shalt not act half starved whenever thou watches me eat.

Thou shalt not lift thy leg to water the Christmas tree.

Thou shalt not roll in any smelly stuff thy finds in the yard.

Thou shalt not lie down next to me and commence making licking and popping noises. (I know what thou art doing!)

Thou shalt not dig up my favorite rose bush.

Thou shalt not treat my shoes as if they were thy chew toy.

Thou shalt not drink out of the toilet.

Thou shalt keep thy nose out of the cat's litter box.

Thou shalt not WATCH the cat while she is in her litterbox.

Thou shalt not pass gas in my presence, and then walk away as if thou has been offended by me.

Thou shalt not run away from home in pursuit of a good time. (thou has been neutered)

Thou shalt refrain from coughing and gagging while we have company.

Thou shall not hide thy bones under my pillow.

Thou shalt not sniff the crotch of everyone thy encounters.

Thou shalt not harmonize with the cat at 2 a.m.

Thou shalt not sneak up on me and lick me in the mouth while I am sleeping.

Thou shalt refrain from becoming overly affectionate with my mother-in-law's leg.